It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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