he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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