he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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