It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tornado booty call.. dedication
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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