Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
