I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
