I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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