what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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