Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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