before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
