did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you will always have a special place in my vag
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
