IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't deserve a penis
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
