my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
