Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i need some magic done to my vagina
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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