She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
