this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
