So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
