help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
