Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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