I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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