This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
