Swine flu. Run for my life!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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