Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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