you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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