Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
