Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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