im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
