I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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