I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My vagina is officially offended.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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