You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize