The maid of honor just puked.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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