I don't usually arrange sex via text message
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
