I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
