And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
