i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
