youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
