ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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