I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
