Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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