sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
