beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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