Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
