I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
