wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
