i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
