you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ladies don't puke and tell
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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