I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
