as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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