How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
