i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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