Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
