420 ftw
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
FUCK WHALES
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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