You really coming over, don't trick.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
